Introducing Debbie Bolding, our Fighting Pretty Woman of the Month!

An interview with Debbie Bolding, our Fighting Pretty Woman of the Month!

Debbie Bolding, at our Fighting Pretty Photoshoot

KS: Debbie, you are one of the very first people we were honored to send a Fighting Pretty Package to. Can you tell us a bit about yourself?

DB: I am a Georgia peach by birth, but I have not actually lived there in 24 years. It's been a long case of homesickness but I do try to "Bloom where you are planted." As corporate nomads, we seem to relocate every 10 years. We left Georgia first for Cincinnati, where our children were born, and then moved to Pittsburgh, followed by the most recent move to New Jersey in 2010. I am a single Mom now and enjoy spending time with my kids and pets, reading and writing.

KS: What has kept you fighting strong?

DB: My children and my support system of extended family and friends and church family have kept me fighting strong as well as a generous serving of hope. While Bill, age 19, and Morgan, who will be 17 in February, are old enough to do most things for themselves, I enjoy my family and spending time with them, encouraging them and watching them grow. By nature, I am a flaming extrovert and I recognized early on that I would need everyone who cares about me to join me in thinking positive thoughts and praying for my courage, peace of mind and recovery. I have worked to do this through my writing. While some may not feel comfortable being as open about their lives, diagnosis and challenges through treatment, it works for me. I have reaped so many positive thoughts and physical support on an ongoing basis as a result of being open and engaging even during the difficult times. Prayer always brought me comfort. I always asked for courage, peace and comfort to get through whatever comes and I always felt stronger by turning it over to God. Good things have happened with perfect timing throughout my journey to-date. For example, my Fighting Pretty package, ordered for me by my sweet friend Patty, whom I had only met that Spring on a volunteer vacation to the Dominican Republic, arrived on the very day my hair began falling out.

KS: How have you maintained a positive spirit?

DB: To build on what I provided above, it is hard not to be positive when you have people cheering you on at every step, celebrating the good news and holding me up through the more difficult times. It also helped a lot, of course, to receive an encouraging prognosis from the beginning. Hope is a very powerful thing. My Mom was diagnosed with advanced breast cancer in 1982 at the age of 42 and passed away at 43. There wasn't much that doctors could do for her; still, they gave her three months and she lived 14 and every one of those extra months was a gift. Things are different now and the vast majority of us diagnosed with breast cancer will survive well past current predictions. When I was diagnosed, I immediately began seeing a counselor in addition to the full range of cancer treatment and surgical specialists. I knew her already and that she was a 20-plus breast cancer survivor. She has helped me stay in shape for the mental cancer fight while the doctors have worked with me for my physical cancer fight. She also recommended some great books: "Love, Medicine & Miracles," by Bernie S. Diegel, MD, and "Creative Visualization," by Shakti Gawain. Of course, I have my sad moments and times when I feel overwhelmed by it all, but I try to face it even if through tears, work through it and just keep moving forward, even if it's a baby step at a time. 

KS: What is the quote you use to keep you staying positive?

DB: Be Brave & Keep Going. An alternative, funnier version of this is the riddle: How do you eat an elephant? Answer: One bite at a time, so you'd best get started. Cancer treatment and recovery is complex and no one waves a magic wand once and says, "poof, you are cured." You have to take one step at a time, and those steps can be painful and scary, but you have to keep moving forward. The alternative is just not an option.

KS: That’s amazing, you are so brave! Tell us a bit about your cancer journey.

DB: I was terribly frightened when I found a lump on Mother's Day 2013 and as I went through the biopsies, scans and other tests to assess the status of my disease. My annual mammogram detected another growth in my other breast. I am pretty sure I did cry buckets through conversations with my Aunt Martha, my brother Kerry and my dear friends Celia and Brett. I told my children from the very beginning because I didn't want any secrets from them and I wanted them to know I believed and still believe I will be okay. Once I had my diagnosis and recommendation for chemo first, followed by surgery and then radiation, chemotherapy scared me a lot and faith and prayers carried me through every one of my "Sweet 16" chemo treatments. I left my corporate communications job on short term disability and focused on treatment and recovery as well as my family. I was amazed at how women and men I didn't know reached out to me as they learned of my diagnosis through mutual friends, work mates and others to share their own or loved ones' experiences. I had heard that major improvements had been made in chemo and anti-nausea meds and that it would not turn out to be as scary as I expected. My new friend and survivor Laura said that one day I would look back and see it as a bump in the road. I underwent two rounds of chemotherapy over six months. My first round of 12 weekly treatments took my hair but only made me very tired for a few days each week. My second round was a cocktail of three stronger drugs administered together four times at three-week intervals. It took a greater toll but I still did pretty well, thanks to anti-nausea drugs and lots of rest. I was surprised by the six-month duration of my chemo. In mid-December I underwent a double mastectomy. My surgeon told me from the very beginning that he saw a single mastectomy for me on one side and a lumpectomy on the other but I had already made the decision that I wanted a double mastectomy. I started 33 weekday radiation treatments in January and am actually back at work, too, trying to regain some semblance of routine and, of course, maintain my income. It feels really good to have chemo and the double mastectomy in my rear view mirror. I am off to a good start with radiation and eventually plan reconstruction. It is not a brief journey but I am moving forward.

KS: Debbie, if you were to share what you learned, what would you say are your "life lessons"?

DB:
1) Life is so short, and I need to live it to the fullest. When I received my diagnosis, the life I want to have is what flashed before my eyes... not the life I had already lived.

2) Lean on those you love when you are struggling and be there for them when they are. I would have been so lost without the sweet support I received from so many people.

3) God is there for us at each stage of the journey. That doesn't guarantee we will be cured one day; it means he will be there with us through everything that happens. We are never alone.

KS: You are one of the first women to receive a Fighting Pretty Package. What are some of your favorite Fighting Pretty materials?

DB: The whole package was so thoughtful, starting with Kara's inspirational letter sharing her story and offering encouragement for my cancer fight. The tiny pink boxing gloves remind me every day that I am in a mental and a physical fight against my cancer. I also liked the nail polish and lip gloss. On my last chemotherapy treatment, my oncologist complimented me on my brightly painted toes. He said he'd been seeing a lot of toe fungus as winter settled in, and my feet were a nice change! The brightly-colored orange and pink scarf has become a favorite of mine.

KS: Thank you so much for sharing your inspiring story Debbie. You are certainly an incredible woman. Beautiful inside and OUT!

DB: Thank you for everything you are doing to bring some smiles and encouragement to others, building on your own successful fight, Kara!

Halting Wedding Plans to Fight for Life

By our very own, Lauren Bash

Twenty-seven year olds are supposed to go for job promotions, plan their weddings and enjoy life. I was planning my wedding, when I was rudely interrupted. I had recently found a cyst on my left breast, but when I went for a sonogram, they couldn’t find the cyst on the screen. However, they found something else. That pea-sized cyst saved my life.

It was two days before my best friend Jessica’s wedding and a couple days after my painful biopsy. My friends and family knew I’d been waiting for the results all week, but we were all convinced I would be okay. We prayed the disease wouldn’t take over my life, like it had my mom three years ago, when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. But here I was at the doctor’s office with my fiancé, receiving the diagnosis I prayed not to get. 

I had Ductal Carcinoma In Situ (DCIS) Stage 0. As soon as I heard the diagnosis, I felt sick, but I was relieved it was Stage 0. To me, this meant I would receive a lumpectomy and a low dose of chemotherapy or radiation and be done. I was sadly mistaken. My doctor explained to me that although the cancer was in my ducts, it had grown to be 10 centimeters. This meant that it started at my nipple and spanned all the way to my chest wall. Due to the size, a lumpectomy was out of the question.

The moment these words left my doctors mouth was when my world started caving in. I was supposed to get married in four months and was only 27. But I knew if I didn’t act fast, the cancer would invade my body before I knew it. 

After a full-on, warranted meltdown, I left the doctor’s office with a stack of information. I would have to get a full mastectomy to my left breast followed by reconstruction. If I never wanted to hear the words, “You have breast cancer” again, I was advised to have my other breast removed as well—along with multiple lymph nodes on either side to make sure the cancer had not spread. My diagnosis of treatment would come about a week after my surgery. All wedding plans were on hold. I was about to fight for my life. 

I decided quickly to have a double mastectomy with lymph node removal. The reconstruction process would start at the time of surgery by placing tissue expanders where my breasts once were. Each week, I would go to the plastic surgeon to have them expanded with saline in preparation for my eventual permanent implants. If I wanted a reconstructed nipple, that was another surgery.

Eight days after my surgery, I received the amazing news that I was cancer-free. The disease had not spread to my lymph nodes and the margin was clean. Tears of joy streamed down everyone’s faces. I think my doctor was a little teary eyed as well. I just dodged the biggest bullet that’s ever been shot at me. It was now time for emotional and physical recovery, which was harder than I ever imagined. Nothing will ever prepare you to go through an event like this, even with an army of loved ones behind you. 

I started the reconstruction process and decided to wait until after my wedding to have the final exchange surgery completed. My husband and I tied the knot October 28, my exchange surgery was on November 30 and the recovery time was longer than I expected. But here I am, trucking along with a new mission in life: to make other women aware of their bodies and not afraid of the word “cancer.” 

In hopes of helping other women my age going through similar experiences, I joined forces with a friend and recently started the nonprofit organization Fighting Pretty. We now have a way to help young women feel beautiful while going through treatment. In another effort to raise funds to end cancer once and for all, I participated in the American Cancer Society’s Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk with my team Support Sisters. We raised over $10,000, and I also conquered my fear of public speaking by getting on stage and telling my story to a crowd of thousands. It wasn’t easy, but neither was fighting breast cancer. I’ve also completed another 5K and ran my first 10K.

Seeing two scarred lumps on my chest reminds me every day that I’m a survivor, but, oddly, I’m thankful for the hand I was dealt. It’s given me a new appreciation for each day and led the way for me to make a difference in other people’s lives. I kicked cancers butt and look forward to helping others fight too. In the grand scheme of things, breasts are just breasts. Our society place too much emphasis on the beauty of breasts, so when you receive a diagnosis of breast cancer—like so many women do every day—you feel like there is no hope for you. But there is. Mine are now fake because the real ones tried to kill me, and I feel sexier than I ever have before. Each day, I get stronger and continue to help other women. We’re in this fight together because, in the end, everyone needs great support for their boobies.

*This article was initially published in The Suburban Woman.