Tip of the Day: Feeling Sexy Post-Mastectomy

Shopping for lingerie can either be really fun, or a little nerve wracking. And to be honest, I've never been that into lingerie before, until I went on my honeymoon this past July. Now to back up for one second, for those of you who don’t know, my name is Lauren Bash. I was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 27 and only 4 months before my wedding. I went on to have a double mastectomy, a very traumatic experience, as I approached the “most romantic” time of my life: my wedding and my honeymoon! I wanted to look great for my new husband. So I shopped all over for the perfect piece that wasn't too sexy but wasn't innocent either.  I started at Victoria's Secret and didn’t find many options. Most pieces were for women that had a much smaller bust, and everything seemed to have underwire, which my breast surgeon clearly said multiple times was a “No-No.”  

I quickly realized that Victoria's Secret was not for me, so I explored Bloomingdales. I felt like I struck gold! There were so many options and everything lived up to my definition of classy lingerie.  I wound up really enjoying my experience. Though I had expanders, there was one (very small) silver lining to all of this: I didn’t need to wear a bra anymore, so everything fit perfectly! I made sure nothing I bought had underwire or a built-in bra and just went with what I felt the sexiest in.  I walked out of the store with two pieces: one romper (which was my husband’s favorite), and one beautiful, tasteful piece with lace on top and a string that I could make as tight or as lose as I wanted.  And given that I wasn’t completely comfortably with my scars, I found these pieces that weren’t sheer, but still made me feel sexy. After months of feeling down about my body post mastectomy, I felt that both lingerie outfits really enhanced my self-esteem and made me feel beautiful again.

It's amazing what a little lingerie can do for your spirits (and your husband’s)!

If you have any tips of your own on how you are "Fighting Pretty," please email us at fightingpretty@gmail.com so we can share with other women out there just like you!

Content provided by the beautiful and courageous, Lauren Bash*.

*Lauren Bash is now 6 months pregnant and is due in July.

Tip of the Day: Eye shadow and Bronzer...your new best friends!

My name is Laura, and I lost my brows and lashes 8 weeks after chemo ended. 

Using eyeshadow seems to work better to fill or fake the brows because it gives it a softer appearance than pencil liner. 

Also, while my hair is growing back, I am left with some patches that are a little 'shy.' Since our scalps are so pale, I use a bronzer all over the head, and then fill in the sparse spots with a shadow and fine brush, I then bled it in with an eyebrow brush. Finish with some blush and line your eyes with the black shadow and you are set. 

This is a quick, five minute 'I have to get out the door' make-up tip!

If you have any tips of your own on how you are "Fighting Pretty," please email us at fightingpretty@gmail.com so we can share with other women out there just like you!

Content provided by the gorgeous Laura McDonald.

Introducing Debbie Bolding, our Fighting Pretty Woman of the Month!

An interview with Debbie Bolding, our Fighting Pretty Woman of the Month!

Debbie Bolding, at our Fighting Pretty Photoshoot

KS: Debbie, you are one of the very first people we were honored to send a Fighting Pretty Package to. Can you tell us a bit about yourself?

DB: I am a Georgia peach by birth, but I have not actually lived there in 24 years. It's been a long case of homesickness but I do try to "Bloom where you are planted." As corporate nomads, we seem to relocate every 10 years. We left Georgia first for Cincinnati, where our children were born, and then moved to Pittsburgh, followed by the most recent move to New Jersey in 2010. I am a single Mom now and enjoy spending time with my kids and pets, reading and writing.

KS: What has kept you fighting strong?

DB: My children and my support system of extended family and friends and church family have kept me fighting strong as well as a generous serving of hope. While Bill, age 19, and Morgan, who will be 17 in February, are old enough to do most things for themselves, I enjoy my family and spending time with them, encouraging them and watching them grow. By nature, I am a flaming extrovert and I recognized early on that I would need everyone who cares about me to join me in thinking positive thoughts and praying for my courage, peace of mind and recovery. I have worked to do this through my writing. While some may not feel comfortable being as open about their lives, diagnosis and challenges through treatment, it works for me. I have reaped so many positive thoughts and physical support on an ongoing basis as a result of being open and engaging even during the difficult times. Prayer always brought me comfort. I always asked for courage, peace and comfort to get through whatever comes and I always felt stronger by turning it over to God. Good things have happened with perfect timing throughout my journey to-date. For example, my Fighting Pretty package, ordered for me by my sweet friend Patty, whom I had only met that Spring on a volunteer vacation to the Dominican Republic, arrived on the very day my hair began falling out.

KS: How have you maintained a positive spirit?

DB: To build on what I provided above, it is hard not to be positive when you have people cheering you on at every step, celebrating the good news and holding me up through the more difficult times. It also helped a lot, of course, to receive an encouraging prognosis from the beginning. Hope is a very powerful thing. My Mom was diagnosed with advanced breast cancer in 1982 at the age of 42 and passed away at 43. There wasn't much that doctors could do for her; still, they gave her three months and she lived 14 and every one of those extra months was a gift. Things are different now and the vast majority of us diagnosed with breast cancer will survive well past current predictions. When I was diagnosed, I immediately began seeing a counselor in addition to the full range of cancer treatment and surgical specialists. I knew her already and that she was a 20-plus breast cancer survivor. She has helped me stay in shape for the mental cancer fight while the doctors have worked with me for my physical cancer fight. She also recommended some great books: "Love, Medicine & Miracles," by Bernie S. Diegel, MD, and "Creative Visualization," by Shakti Gawain. Of course, I have my sad moments and times when I feel overwhelmed by it all, but I try to face it even if through tears, work through it and just keep moving forward, even if it's a baby step at a time. 

KS: What is the quote you use to keep you staying positive?

DB: Be Brave & Keep Going. An alternative, funnier version of this is the riddle: How do you eat an elephant? Answer: One bite at a time, so you'd best get started. Cancer treatment and recovery is complex and no one waves a magic wand once and says, "poof, you are cured." You have to take one step at a time, and those steps can be painful and scary, but you have to keep moving forward. The alternative is just not an option.

KS: That’s amazing, you are so brave! Tell us a bit about your cancer journey.

DB: I was terribly frightened when I found a lump on Mother's Day 2013 and as I went through the biopsies, scans and other tests to assess the status of my disease. My annual mammogram detected another growth in my other breast. I am pretty sure I did cry buckets through conversations with my Aunt Martha, my brother Kerry and my dear friends Celia and Brett. I told my children from the very beginning because I didn't want any secrets from them and I wanted them to know I believed and still believe I will be okay. Once I had my diagnosis and recommendation for chemo first, followed by surgery and then radiation, chemotherapy scared me a lot and faith and prayers carried me through every one of my "Sweet 16" chemo treatments. I left my corporate communications job on short term disability and focused on treatment and recovery as well as my family. I was amazed at how women and men I didn't know reached out to me as they learned of my diagnosis through mutual friends, work mates and others to share their own or loved ones' experiences. I had heard that major improvements had been made in chemo and anti-nausea meds and that it would not turn out to be as scary as I expected. My new friend and survivor Laura said that one day I would look back and see it as a bump in the road. I underwent two rounds of chemotherapy over six months. My first round of 12 weekly treatments took my hair but only made me very tired for a few days each week. My second round was a cocktail of three stronger drugs administered together four times at three-week intervals. It took a greater toll but I still did pretty well, thanks to anti-nausea drugs and lots of rest. I was surprised by the six-month duration of my chemo. In mid-December I underwent a double mastectomy. My surgeon told me from the very beginning that he saw a single mastectomy for me on one side and a lumpectomy on the other but I had already made the decision that I wanted a double mastectomy. I started 33 weekday radiation treatments in January and am actually back at work, too, trying to regain some semblance of routine and, of course, maintain my income. It feels really good to have chemo and the double mastectomy in my rear view mirror. I am off to a good start with radiation and eventually plan reconstruction. It is not a brief journey but I am moving forward.

KS: Debbie, if you were to share what you learned, what would you say are your "life lessons"?

DB:
1) Life is so short, and I need to live it to the fullest. When I received my diagnosis, the life I want to have is what flashed before my eyes... not the life I had already lived.

2) Lean on those you love when you are struggling and be there for them when they are. I would have been so lost without the sweet support I received from so many people.

3) God is there for us at each stage of the journey. That doesn't guarantee we will be cured one day; it means he will be there with us through everything that happens. We are never alone.

KS: You are one of the first women to receive a Fighting Pretty Package. What are some of your favorite Fighting Pretty materials?

DB: The whole package was so thoughtful, starting with Kara's inspirational letter sharing her story and offering encouragement for my cancer fight. The tiny pink boxing gloves remind me every day that I am in a mental and a physical fight against my cancer. I also liked the nail polish and lip gloss. On my last chemotherapy treatment, my oncologist complimented me on my brightly painted toes. He said he'd been seeing a lot of toe fungus as winter settled in, and my feet were a nice change! The brightly-colored orange and pink scarf has become a favorite of mine.

KS: Thank you so much for sharing your inspiring story Debbie. You are certainly an incredible woman. Beautiful inside and OUT!

DB: Thank you for everything you are doing to bring some smiles and encouragement to others, building on your own successful fight, Kara!

Halting Wedding Plans to Fight for Life

By our very own, Lauren Bash

Twenty-seven year olds are supposed to go for job promotions, plan their weddings and enjoy life. I was planning my wedding, when I was rudely interrupted. I had recently found a cyst on my left breast, but when I went for a sonogram, they couldn’t find the cyst on the screen. However, they found something else. That pea-sized cyst saved my life.

It was two days before my best friend Jessica’s wedding and a couple days after my painful biopsy. My friends and family knew I’d been waiting for the results all week, but we were all convinced I would be okay. We prayed the disease wouldn’t take over my life, like it had my mom three years ago, when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. But here I was at the doctor’s office with my fiancé, receiving the diagnosis I prayed not to get. 

I had Ductal Carcinoma In Situ (DCIS) Stage 0. As soon as I heard the diagnosis, I felt sick, but I was relieved it was Stage 0. To me, this meant I would receive a lumpectomy and a low dose of chemotherapy or radiation and be done. I was sadly mistaken. My doctor explained to me that although the cancer was in my ducts, it had grown to be 10 centimeters. This meant that it started at my nipple and spanned all the way to my chest wall. Due to the size, a lumpectomy was out of the question.

The moment these words left my doctors mouth was when my world started caving in. I was supposed to get married in four months and was only 27. But I knew if I didn’t act fast, the cancer would invade my body before I knew it. 

After a full-on, warranted meltdown, I left the doctor’s office with a stack of information. I would have to get a full mastectomy to my left breast followed by reconstruction. If I never wanted to hear the words, “You have breast cancer” again, I was advised to have my other breast removed as well—along with multiple lymph nodes on either side to make sure the cancer had not spread. My diagnosis of treatment would come about a week after my surgery. All wedding plans were on hold. I was about to fight for my life. 

I decided quickly to have a double mastectomy with lymph node removal. The reconstruction process would start at the time of surgery by placing tissue expanders where my breasts once were. Each week, I would go to the plastic surgeon to have them expanded with saline in preparation for my eventual permanent implants. If I wanted a reconstructed nipple, that was another surgery.

Eight days after my surgery, I received the amazing news that I was cancer-free. The disease had not spread to my lymph nodes and the margin was clean. Tears of joy streamed down everyone’s faces. I think my doctor was a little teary eyed as well. I just dodged the biggest bullet that’s ever been shot at me. It was now time for emotional and physical recovery, which was harder than I ever imagined. Nothing will ever prepare you to go through an event like this, even with an army of loved ones behind you. 

I started the reconstruction process and decided to wait until after my wedding to have the final exchange surgery completed. My husband and I tied the knot October 28, my exchange surgery was on November 30 and the recovery time was longer than I expected. But here I am, trucking along with a new mission in life: to make other women aware of their bodies and not afraid of the word “cancer.” 

In hopes of helping other women my age going through similar experiences, I joined forces with a friend and recently started the nonprofit organization Fighting Pretty. We now have a way to help young women feel beautiful while going through treatment. In another effort to raise funds to end cancer once and for all, I participated in the American Cancer Society’s Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk with my team Support Sisters. We raised over $10,000, and I also conquered my fear of public speaking by getting on stage and telling my story to a crowd of thousands. It wasn’t easy, but neither was fighting breast cancer. I’ve also completed another 5K and ran my first 10K.

Seeing two scarred lumps on my chest reminds me every day that I’m a survivor, but, oddly, I’m thankful for the hand I was dealt. It’s given me a new appreciation for each day and led the way for me to make a difference in other people’s lives. I kicked cancers butt and look forward to helping others fight too. In the grand scheme of things, breasts are just breasts. Our society place too much emphasis on the beauty of breasts, so when you receive a diagnosis of breast cancer—like so many women do every day—you feel like there is no hope for you. But there is. Mine are now fake because the real ones tried to kill me, and I feel sexier than I ever have before. Each day, I get stronger and continue to help other women. We’re in this fight together because, in the end, everyone needs great support for their boobies.

*This article was initially published in The Suburban Woman.

Going Strong

Fighting Pretty has been going strong for a year now and things are heating up. And we couldn't be happier that we are able to help provide inspiration, strength and beauty to women all over American - and the world!

We have sent over 340 Pretty Packages in the last 12 months and need your support in order to continue our efforts in 2014. Please join us in the fight and donate to Fighting Pretty to help women out there feel strong and beautiful during and after cancer treatment.

Click here to donate today! 

Three Hundred and Counting!

As of this month ~ the start of the New Year ~ Fighting Pretty has sent out over 300 Pretty Packages to women all over America. And starting this month, we will have expanded to New Zealand!

Looking back on the idea of starting of this organization, I get a warm fuzzy feeling when I think about the reactions of women as they open their Pretty Package. We have received well over 100 thank you's and comments from loved ones and women battling cancer telling us how it is because of Fighting Pretty that they are now getting dressed up for chemo, getting out of their houses and fighting strong!

We have received pictures, letters, donations and more from women battling this disease showing their hanging boxing gloves, growing-out hair, of fun outfits as they "Fight Pretty."

This blog is a resource for all women to read...to gain inspiration, insight and strength as they battle through their cancer journey.

Please reach out to us if you have any tips on what keeps you strong and beautiful during cancer. We would love to share with the world!

Much love,
Kara Skaflestad

Happy New Year!

It's the new year ladies. Whether you like it or not.
Some of you are just starting on your cancer journey, and some of you have recently finished.

Back in December 2008, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. And less than one month later, on January 14, I had a double mastectomy. The next month was my 27th birthday, and I started chemo. So the year 2009 was the year of cancer for me. So, I totally get it.

But looking back now, it's behind me. Yet every holiday season is a bit bittersweet. The coldness that fills the air is something that I now appreciate more than ever. The sparkles on the trees, the lights in people's windows, the Christmas songs, the buzz of the New York City streets, and now...the looks on my neices' faces when they open presents - they all remind me what I've been through and how I appreciate what I have become.

For those of you that are just starting your journey, start your year with vigor, strength and attitude. And know, that you will kick cancer's ass this year! And by next New Year's Eve, when your hair is slowly growing back, you will be rocking that hairdo and celebrating the amazing person you are!

And for those of you that finished - hooray! Celebrate 2014 and take in every moment, and appreciate all that life has to offer. It's been a hell of a ride, but it's only just begun!