An interview with Debbie Bolding, our
Fighting Pretty Woman of the Month!
Debbie Bolding, at our
Fighting Pretty Photoshoot
KS: Debbie, you
are one of the very first people we were honored to send a Fighting Pretty Package to.
Can you tell us a bit about yourself?
DB: I am a Georgia peach by birth,
but I have not actually lived there in 24 years. It's been a long case of
homesickness but I do try to "Bloom where you are planted." As
corporate nomads, we seem to relocate every 10 years. We left Georgia
first for Cincinnati, where our children were born, and then moved to
Pittsburgh, followed by the most recent move to New Jersey in 2010. I am a
single Mom now and enjoy spending time with my kids and pets, reading and
writing.
KS: What has kept you fighting strong?
DB: My children and my support
system of extended family and friends and church family have kept me
fighting strong as well as a generous serving of hope. While Bill, age 19, and
Morgan, who will be 17 in February, are old enough to do most things for
themselves, I enjoy my family and spending time with them, encouraging
them and watching them grow. By nature, I am a flaming extrovert and I
recognized early on that I would need everyone who cares about me to join me in
thinking positive thoughts and praying for my courage, peace of mind and
recovery. I have worked to do this through my writing. While some may not feel
comfortable being as open about their lives, diagnosis and challenges through
treatment, it works for me. I have reaped so many positive thoughts and
physical support on an ongoing basis as a result of being open and engaging
even during the difficult times. Prayer always brought me comfort. I always
asked for courage, peace and comfort to get through whatever comes and I always
felt stronger by turning it over to God. Good things have happened with perfect
timing throughout my journey to-date. For example, my Fighting Pretty package,
ordered for me by my sweet friend Patty, whom I had only met that Spring on a
volunteer vacation to the Dominican Republic, arrived on the very day my hair
began falling out.
KS: How have you maintained a positive spirit?
DB: To build on what I provided
above, it is hard not to be positive when you have people cheering you on
at every step, celebrating the good news and holding me up through the
more difficult times. It also helped a lot, of course, to receive an
encouraging prognosis from the beginning. Hope is a very powerful thing.
My Mom was diagnosed with advanced breast cancer in 1982 at the age of 42 and
passed away at 43. There wasn't much that doctors could do for her; still, they
gave her three months and she lived 14 and every one of those extra months was
a gift. Things are different now and the vast majority of us diagnosed with
breast cancer will survive well past current predictions. When I was diagnosed,
I immediately began seeing a counselor in addition to the full range of cancer
treatment and surgical specialists. I knew her already and that she was a
20-plus breast cancer survivor. She has helped me stay in shape for the
mental cancer fight while the doctors have worked with me for my physical
cancer fight. She also recommended some great books: "Love, Medicine
& Miracles," by Bernie S. Diegel, MD, and "Creative
Visualization," by Shakti Gawain. Of course, I have my sad moments and
times when I feel overwhelmed by it all, but I try to face it even if through
tears, work through it and just keep moving forward, even if it's a baby step
at a time.
KS: What is the quote you use to keep you
staying positive?
DB: Be
Brave & Keep Going. An alternative, funnier
version of this is the riddle: How do you eat an elephant? Answer: One bite at
a time, so you'd best get started. Cancer treatment and recovery is complex and
no one waves a magic wand once and says, "poof, you are cured." You
have to take one step at a time, and those steps can be painful and scary, but
you have to keep moving forward. The alternative is just not an option.
KS: That’s amazing, you are so brave! Tell us a
bit about your cancer journey.
DB: I was terribly
frightened when I found a lump on Mother's Day 2013 and as I went
through the biopsies, scans and other tests to assess the status of my disease.
My annual mammogram detected another growth in my other breast. I am pretty
sure I did cry buckets through conversations with my Aunt Martha, my brother
Kerry and my dear friends Celia and Brett. I told my children from the very
beginning because I didn't want any secrets from them and I wanted them to know
I believed and still believe I will be okay. Once I had my diagnosis and
recommendation for chemo first, followed by surgery and then radiation,
chemotherapy scared me a lot and faith and prayers carried me through every one
of my "Sweet 16" chemo treatments. I left my corporate communications
job on short term disability and focused on treatment and recovery as well as
my family. I was amazed at how women and men I didn't know reached out to me as
they learned of my diagnosis through mutual friends, work mates and others
to share their own or loved ones' experiences. I had heard that major
improvements had been made in chemo and anti-nausea meds and that it would not
turn out to be as scary as I expected. My new friend and survivor Laura
said that one day I would look back and see it as a bump in the road. I
underwent two rounds of chemotherapy over six months. My first round of 12
weekly treatments took my hair but only made me very tired for a few days
each week. My second round was a cocktail of three stronger drugs administered
together four times at three-week intervals. It took a greater toll but I still
did pretty well, thanks to anti-nausea drugs and lots of rest. I was surprised
by the six-month duration of my chemo. In mid-December I underwent a double
mastectomy. My surgeon told me from the very beginning that he saw a single
mastectomy for me on one side and a lumpectomy on the other but I had already
made the decision that I wanted a double mastectomy. I started 33 weekday
radiation treatments in January and am actually back at work, too, trying to
regain some semblance of routine and, of course, maintain my income. It feels
really good to have chemo and the double mastectomy in my rear view mirror. I
am off to a good start with radiation and eventually plan reconstruction. It is
not a brief journey but I am moving forward.
KS: Debbie, if you were to share what you
learned, what would you say are your "life lessons"?
DB:
1) Life is
so short, and I need to live it to the fullest. When I received my diagnosis, the life I want to have is
what flashed before my eyes... not the life I had already lived.
2) Lean on
those you love when you are struggling and be there for them when they are. I would have been so lost without the sweet support I
received from so many people.
3) God is there for us at each stage of the journey. That doesn't guarantee we will be cured one day; it
means he will be there with us through everything that happens. We are
never alone.
KS: You are one of the first women to receive a Fighting Pretty
Package. What are some of your favorite Fighting Pretty materials?
DB: The whole package was so
thoughtful, starting with Kara's inspirational letter sharing her story and
offering encouragement for my cancer fight. The tiny pink boxing gloves
remind me every day that I am in a mental and a physical fight against my
cancer. I also liked the nail polish and lip gloss. On my last chemotherapy
treatment, my oncologist complimented me on my brightly painted toes. He said
he'd been seeing a lot of toe fungus as winter settled in, and my feet were a
nice change! The brightly-colored orange and pink scarf has become a favorite
of mine.
KS: Thank you so much for sharing your inspiring story Debbie. You
are certainly an incredible woman. Beautiful inside and OUT!
DB: Thank you for everything you
are doing to bring some smiles and encouragement to others, building on your
own successful fight, Kara!
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